Because of the financial crisis Delta airlines fired all the auto-pilots...

Computer Message:

- Please wait, your computer is getting ready to crash...

- I wanna make a porno, what should i call it?
- Home Alone.

Barack Obama's Minister of Health Care will be Dr. Dre

I am leading a double life so that I can maybe succeed at one of them.

Sarah Palin Prank

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

TORONTO (AP) — Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy and telling her she would make a good president someday.

"Maybe in eight years," replies a laughing Palin.

The Republican vice presidential nominee discusses politics, the perils of hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney, and Sarkozy's "beautiful wife," in a recording of the six-minute call released Saturday and set to air Monday on a Quebec radio station.

- What to do on a date with a girl you met online?
- Take her to a website of a nice restaurant.

Orange County: ANUS of the world

As an ex-Ny'er who's lived for the last 7 years here in OC I feel I must warn other potential victims to STAY AWAY from this Moderator cut: offensive language/profanity BOREDOM known as Southern CA.

Yes, the place is physically beautiful and very spacious but in exchange you get southern californians. These people are the most shallow, slow-witted, materialistic and uncultured people you could hope to meet (outside of Texas of course). It's a 100% freakin' car-culture which means these Moderator cut: removed never get a chance to practice and hone any significant social skills due to the fact that they rarely interact with other human beings. Hot topics in these parts?. The weather!, which BTW is constantly sunny and gets to be a Moderator cut: removedDRAG after the initial euphoria of it wears off. Gimme a freakin' cloud every now & then somebody PLEASE!.

These people have ZERO sense of humor and lack the wit that God gave the common field asparagus. My theory is that the constant sunshine fades the brain and renders people tanned Moderator cut: removed.

Cosmetic details are of the UTMOST importance here & silicone enhancements are a MUST for woman. Speaking of Cali woman, they're mostly greedy, dimwitted moneychasing blonds and the California woman is in general like plastic fruit; nice to look at ..but flavorless and inedible.

I just went back East after a long absence and felt like I was freakin' ALIVE again. The diversity, the action, the odors (good & bad) the edgy humor, the streetsmart people, the culture ...THAT'S LIFE !

I'm packing it up and heading back to civilization man!!!!

from city-data.com

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are talking:

Watson: Wouldn't it be great, Holmes, if there was a magical way to turn the worst lyars, thieves, criminals into honest, productive citizens...
Holmes: there is such a way, it's called democratic elections...

Windows Vista Source Code has been found!!

view plaincopy to clipboardprint?/* GNOT General Public License! (c) 1995-2007 Microsoft Corporation */

#include "dos.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "sco_unix.h"
class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{ int totalNewFeatures = 3;
int totalWorkingNewFeatures = 0;
float numberOfBugs = 345889E+08;
bool readyForRelease = FALSE;

void main()
{ while (!CRASHED)
{ if (first_time_install)
{
if (installed RAM < 2GB || processorSpeed < 4GHz)
{
MessageBox("Hardware incompatibity error.");
GetKeyPress ();
BSOD();
}
}
Make10GBswapfile():
SearchAndDestroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|AHYTHING_GOOGLE);
AddRandomDriver();
MessageBox("Driver incompatibily error.");
GetKeyPress();
BSOD();
}

//printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
//printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
if (still_not_crashed)
{ CheckUserLicense();
DoubleCheckUserLicense();
TripleCheckUserLicense();
RelayUserDetailsToRedmond();
DisplayFancyGraphics();
FlickerLED(hard_drive);
RunWindowsXP();
return LotsMoreMoney;
}
}
}